If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
