the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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