Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
