too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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