so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
