Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize