ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My hand turned me down
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
