Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
