Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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