she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
