absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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