Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
one might say we're banned from that church
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
