I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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