The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
