Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
