Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
