I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
