My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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