I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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