I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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