Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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