is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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