Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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