Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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