dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i will never coherently bang her
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
