Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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