I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you win again, gameday.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
