i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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