My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
