no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
