Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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