Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This is my gift to your gina
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize