I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
