whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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