Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He? As in you personified your dick?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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