Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
