It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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