oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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