It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
