Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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