They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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