im drinking this country out of the recession.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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