Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
