the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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