then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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