just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize