If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just forgot I was standing up.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
