Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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