why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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