i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
