We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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