if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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