FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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