Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
