I want you more than these girls want KFC
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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