pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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