Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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