Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
