I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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