apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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