why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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