I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
