I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
