some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
